In my previous post, I spoke about how I’ve learned that I had to be true to who I was. I thought it was important to dwell on that journey.
Everyone agrees that life is a journey. I for one, have spent many years trying to understand my journey. I tried figuring out the destination and setting up pit stops. Just as I neared a pit stop, the ‘destination’ changes. Whether through circumstance or choice, that end goal has been, for me, a dynamic plot. As I reflected on my journey thus far, it prompted me to look within; if life is a journey, what does it say about the one on the journey?
Journey to where?
If life is a journey, what does it say about the one on the journey; the traveller, the wayfarer, a pilgrim or a tourist? Could you be a tourist in your own life?
A learning journey
Every curriculum is explicitly developed to achieve a specific outcome. If we view life’s learning journey as a curated curriculum, then, what is the specific outcome that we were supposed to achieve? Everyone’s curriculum is so unique; twins don’t exhibit specific identical traits. Every occurrence in our lives happens for a reason, a specific lesson. I personally believe that until we learn that specific lesson, we continue to make the same mistakes. Sort of like failing a class. Until we graduate from that class, we will continue to repeat the module. For me, there was module I continue to fail, that was “purpose”. Ironically, purpose is a topic I’ve been fixated on since I was 12.
Failing curriculum: Purpose
Chasing after destinations and paths, I’ve been that person. I’m the person wandering through my own life, a traveller. I’m lost. It is only in the past few months that I’ve realised that I’ve been chasing ‘rivers and lakes’ because I wasn’t honest about who I was. Had I been honest about who I was, I wouldn’t be chasing after, I would be driven towards X.
Ive always been attracted to fashion. I can’t for certain explain that fascination, but it has been my fascination since I was as young as 8. Growing up in a traditional malay family, as a son, fashion was never supposed to be something I can explore. Very much traumatised by specific incidents, I stayed away from it. Fashion was a pretty thing I could admire but never touch.
Honesty as my resurrection
Now, more than ever, I am driven and proud to say that I am going to pursue this pretty thing, that once was just a space of admiration. I am going to explore, grab, indulge and grow from it,